From the Man’s Point of View

From the Man’s Point of View:

I was recently chatting to a male friend about the club culture in the Gold Coast and the battle between the sexes, I nearly pissed myself laughing so hard when I heard his take on “getting ready for the big night out”.

Usually when guys go to a club, they dress to impress (or Peacock) but their main motive is: Banging Chicks. That’s it.

You’ll never meet a group of guys, who have a sausage fest a couple hours before to pick out each others outfits, pre-drink and do each others hair, then get to a bar after ALL that prep time and tell chicks  ”sorry sweet cheeks it’s boys night”.

You’ll never hear “Hey Luke, like my new tight shirt, I think it really shows off my pecks, the chicks are gunna go ape shit for these puppies!” OR  ”Oi Nick, what do you think of these jeans – do they say “meat in the front, heat in the back”? Or Matty do you think these jeans are baggy enough for chicks to think, “I’m swimming in them, go for a deep dive darling and you’ll find my electric eel baby!?”

I was in hysterics laughing at the scenario he just reenacted!

Fair enough it’s true…

Women DO like to get ready with their friends, yes we do have pretty parties where we pre-drink, we do each others hair & make-up and yes of course there IS the pre-parade fashion show. This is how you know your friends like you. So what. It’s what we do.

So then he began to rant about how evil women are…  He said his biggest pet peeve was when he’d just try to talk to a girl and she’d say the infamous line “No – sorry I’m just here to dance with the girls.” Before he could even get out his name she’d shot him down. Shaved 3 inches off his manhood with that one little phrase! He couldn’t believe it!

I tried not to snicker, but bit my lip instead, because I too, have been guilty of saying that ever popular penis deflating line!

I tried to ease his ego, I explained that maybe she RREEAALLLYY was just out there to dance with her friends? Coulda been a birthday party, hens night, break up party, friends coming from outta town… probably nothing personal.

He called BULLSHIT! Wide-eyed I asked why he thought that?

He said this, “Really? You really expect me to believe that that girl was wearing hair-extensions, a massive push-up bra, hooker shoes, and a short dress to go out ‘dancing’ with her friends”? Not to mention the stripper moves and grinding up on her friends in a drunken stumble. Was that REALLY just how girls act? Or is it a clever ploy to peek a mans interest and get free drinks for the rest of the night? It’s amazing how many broke women suddenly turn bar-time-lesbo for free drinks and male attention.

FROM THE GIRLS POINT OF VIEW!

Ok, SO at this point I have to come in and defend the ladies!

Fact: Women like to share clothes, shoes, make-up and whatever else is new and fun to play with that our friends have. You might be bored of your wardrobe, you might want to “get in the mood” by having some pre-drinkies, and listen to some ultra-girlie tunes. There’s nothing wrong, or homo about it.

Fact: IF a girl is in a relationship OR doesn’t want to be molested she will dance with her friend, it doesn’t always mean girls are doing it for attention or free drinks. Sometimes we’re just dancing with our friend so
no Sneakies come in and try to dry hump us on the dance floor.

Fact: Sexy Stripper Dancing is what’s in. If you started dancing some weird 80′s metal thrashing, or 50′s Sock-hop bop people might look at you like your a mental case and you left your “special helmet” at home.

Fact: Just because we might dress like sexy vixens doesn’t mean we want you to grind up behind us. We are NOT horses, we do not want “your little man” riding up on our backside like some Jockey! It’s like the song says “Stand BACK you’re dancing kinda close, feel a little poke comin’ through on you…”

Then he blurted out: “FACT: YOU ARE SO FULL OF IT! You’re signature move is the booty bounce!” Then he started to do the best lap dance impression I’ve ever seen!

Busting out in what could only be described as rib tickling donkey-like laughter I had to admit I have done the “giddy-up” a few times!

Ok, so agree to disagree I guess! Rule of thumb: If you want love up in the club, buy the girl a drink first (without spilling it on her) and maybe she’ll dance with your little man instead of just her girlies!

Don’t hate the playa, hate the game!

*the views expressed in this blog do not directly reflect the views of the men in the pictures of this blog. They are purely there for esthetic reasons, and should hereby not be pinched, grabbed, smacked or lectured by friends, family, or social media friends that they may have never met in real life (or maybe they did but they just wouldn’t know, cause who would introduce themselves as @princessbuttercup81 or @mogspaceballz at a casual chat-up).