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Are you Canadian Eh?

June 29, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

So it’s that one time of year where our friends from the great white north bleed red … & white!

Since it seems as though they’re taking over the Gold Coast with all these so called “Teachers” and “Tourists” we decided to see if their snow bird migrations have also infected the Aussie populations!

So signs you MIGHT be turning Canadian are…..

1. You finish your sentence with an “eh” and a ? instead of a “hey” .

2. You think that wearing a lumber jacket in Winter is fashionable.

3. You know what a “double -double” & a Timbit is.

4. You say “how are you doing” instead of “how ya goin’ mate”.

5. You think that Hockey is better then Rugby or Cricket, and secretly don’t care who wins the Stanley Cup because you think all hockey players are either Canadian or Russian anyways.

6. Americans just remind you of drunk people. But you dig their football more then the CFL.

7. You prefer a snowboard to a surf board.

8. You love Australia b/c its pretty much like Canada but without the snow.

9. You know what Poutine means, and tastes what it like.

10. In your country the “Ceasar’s” you order involve alcohol, pickles & or olives.

11. If you call someone a “Hoser” –  it’s not slang for Firemen.

12. You acknowledge the “r”‘s at the end of a word.

13. You speak 3 languages: English, French & Beer

14. You know that if someone refers to “Bubbles” its a trailer park boys reference, not a dancer.

15. You know who sang the song about which Canadian comedian that humped a dead moose.

16. You know that if someone wears a jersey with a “C” on it, you know it’s not just for “Canada” it could be “Calgary” or “The Habs”.

17. You know the difference between a squirrel & a chipmunk.

18. You say “sorry” at least once in a conversation, even if you have nothing to be “sorry” about.

19. You try to HUG everyone, when a hand shake will do.

20. You think you need to pee on someone if they’ve been stung by a jellyfish!

If you’ve answered “YES” to 2 or more of these questions then you MAY have contracted Canadianitis! The ONLY remedy is to come celebrate with us THIS FRIDAY JULY 1st for CANADA DAY!

Prizes, Canadian Food/Drinks, and heaps of actual Canadians will be at ours, so pop on in, and get your Red & White on to “gitter done”!

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10 Guilty Pleasures working in a Bar

April 1, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

When you work in the hospitality industry there are a few guilty pleasures that are hard to ignore, which makes working in the industry hard to get out of! My top 10 favorite things about working in the bar and restaurant industry are as follows:

1. – NEVER having to cook! If you work at a yummy resto/bar you rarely ever have to buy groceries for dinner. Someone else always does the cooking for you!

2. – If you’re working a busy dinner shift you never really have to worry about getting in your “cardio” because normally your running your buns off and lifting lots of heavy plates so that takes care of your biceps as well!

3. – Staff discounts! We get staffies at all 3 of our restaurants so even on a night off, we can go sample the delights at our neighboring places.

4. – If you work bar and your single, you never have to worry about dating! A Fri/Sat night is pretty much like speed dating. You get to flirt with dozens of cuties AND there’s always a new selection. :P

5. – If you’re new in town and you start working at a resto/bar the staff become your family so you don’t have to worry about making new best friends.

6. – Hospitality nights! Typically your weekend is Sun, Mon, Tues. Drinks are always cheaper and you always get to party with people who do the same thing as you! And you never really have to compete for service or wait for drinks b/c places are never crowded.

7. – Tips! I love being able to have cash on hand. That way you never have to spend your paycheck.

8. – You always have plans for the weekend, so you’re never worried about what you’re going to do.

9. – Getting able to sleep in everyday and not getting up early to sit in a cubicle, and be bored to tears all day long.

10. – Getting to learn how to make all sorts of yummy cocktails and being able to wow your other friends when you host your own dinner parties.

These might not be necessarily be the same perks that everyone else in this industry get to enjoy but here in Broady, we love what we do and who we work with!

For more of what goes on day-to-day friend us on Facebook @ 1 Two 3 Dining & Lounge Bar
or on Twitter @ @1two3dining

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First Date Jitters?

March 24, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

Here at 1two3 Dinning & Lounge Bar we see all sorts of patrons, guests if you will, but one of our favorite diners are the obvious FIRST DATERS!

It starts off by getting ready for the first date, picking the perfect outfit to exude confidence but also physical attraction.

Typically the first date is the make it or break it evening with a new relationship, so you want to impress them but you don’t want to over do it, so it doesn’t seem like you’re “trying too hard”.

Hence why we’ve become the PERFECT venue for the first date. We’re not Moo Moo’s and we’re definitely a few steps above Nando’s! The best part is you can choose to dine a bit later, and if the date makes it past dinner you can move on to our bar and continue getting-to-know-each-other, wink wink, nudge nudge.

If you’re the type of guy or girl that gets nervous on first dates, we have a few tips for you to help the evening go a wee bit more smoothly…

Tip #1 – Shower, and brush your teeth and grab some chewy. Its’ summer, no one likes a Smelly Smellerson! If you look good but wreak like B.O., Stank Breath, or Body Cheese, you’ll be cutting your date time in half, that’s tough to endure especially at night when the ocean breeze picks up and you’re down wind.

Tip #2 – if you show your toes in thongs or peep toes – please I beg of you trim your nails and invest in a pumice stone, and use it on the dead skin. There’s nothing more unappetizing then someone with troll hoofs or gargoyle toes.

Tip #3 – Do NOT talk about your ex, do not talk about religion, and do not talk about politics. Music, Movies, Hobbies all great topics! Do not ask you date what zodiac sign they are and mentally calculate whether your stars align. Do not ask your date if they’ve picked out their future kids names, or what kind of wedding they want to have – on the first date, this will start raising the mercury on the creep-o-meter!

Tip #4 – As the date is coming to a close, guys for dessert suggest an after dinner cocktail this gives you more time with your date, without overloading them with unnecessary calories. Not one likes to be bloated, or feel like they have a food baby when they’re dressed to impress. Typically there’s not enough room to breathe let alone squeeze in dessert. It’s not anything against you. Also, guys if you are full, and you need a toilet break, do not tell us you have to “make a deposit”, or “drop the kids off at the pool”. That’s about as charming as a girl talking in a baby voice.

Tip #5 – Go for the reach. Whomever decides to pay for the bill, the other one by default must do the “reach”, then say thank-you. It’s just proper etiquette.

Once dinner is done, definitely join us for a shot or two to loosen you up, and in turn inspire more interesting conversation no doubt.

We can honestly say we think it’s adorable, and if we seem to be staring at your table, we probably are. First date conversations are by far the most interesting to eaves drop on! You can almost bet on the date depending on the cliche’s whether or not it’ll make it past dinner. If you need help with the menu, please don’t hesitate to ask our friendly staff as we’d be more then willing to give you a few pointers. Even if you need help with something that’s not on the menu, we’d gladly give advice on that too!

If you have twitter hit us up and Follow us @1two3dining for daily updates and silliness :)

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Have you met our girl Ness?

March 18, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

If you plan on coming on down to 1two3 this weekend be sure to say hi to our NEW Restaurant Manager Vanessa, a.k.a – NESS!

When I caught up with our girl this week I asked her a few questions on what she thought about her new position and if there’s anything new we can expect to see during her new reign as Manager.

Q 1- How many years have you been in the hospitality industry?

A :9 long and eventful years!

Q 2 – How many years at 1two3?

A: Its a bit blurry, but I’m going to have to say 2 and a half years of some of the most memorable times.

Q: 3 – What’s the funniest moment you’ve had at 1two3 since you’ve been there for so long?

A: Oooooh the funniest moment….I have so many! Definitely during bar service is when the funniest moments go down..like this one big guy was dancing the night away and whenever someone noticed him he’d start clicking his fingers and swaying side to side. lol I actually have that footage on my camera! p.s dont fall asleep in the bar i have the camera ready for you…just so you all know we do have a sleeping hall of fame! Drunkin sleep shots do you no justice hahaha

Q: 4 – What makes 1two3 so unique to other bars at night/day as opposed to other resto’s/bars in Broady?

A: The dinner service can get a little bit crazier than everyone else understands. I think even our customers would agree we take it that most of our staff try to take it that one step further than everywhere else. We just like getting a little more invovled with our patrons and making it “an experience” is what I think we’re about, and we really do care about our customers… and hopefully they like us as much as we like them! We like to think that’s why they keep coming back.

Q: 5 – What changes would like to make or like see being made?

A: Changes – not so much I dont see things slippin, we just keep that positive energy flowing and keep everyone smiling its a great environment to work in and hopefully to be entertained as well!

Q: 6- Do you think it’s best to promote in house as opposed to hiring someone with “more” experience outside of the 1two3 family?

A: Absolutely not! If someone has the experience and brings the right element to the table then why not, its always nice to have some fresh blood in the family, variety is the spice of life.

Q: 7 – What makes you and Sascha such a great team working together?

A: Sach and I have known and worked along side each other for some time now. So we have that as an advantage. I’m teaching her all i know and we’re having fun with it at the same time. We’re a great team and flow together really nicely, we both have a strong relationship with the staff which definitely makes things run really nicely, I cant wait to see how things unfold in the future.

Q:8 – As manager what are some things you wish you could say to patrons but can’t?

A: Well all in all you can say most things, its just your approach that will make or break what you say. Whether it will affect your business, or how people view you BUT…there’s always one though! lol

Q: 9 – What has made you stay so long at 1two3?

A: The family that weve built with the staff and customers i love coming to work even if its a bad day they make it worth while.

Q: 10- What can everyone expect to see in the future?

A: Well we are training the girls to dance on the bar, no-one quite has the talent that Fallon used to bring to the stage but we are workin on it… We have lotsa fun events coming up in the future so make sure you get along and come party with us we’d love to see you all there getting as crazy if not crazier with us!

We have an amazing new menu that our brand new head chef Cheyenne has created from all the hidden corners of the Mediterranean. B eautiful new flavours with all the old favourites still available to get your tastebuds tingeling so come on down and see what its all about!

Can’t wait to see you! xxx

________________________________________

So there you have it guys, if you’re looking for a great time, and a chance to make it into a “Hall of (Sh)Fame ” – 1 two3 is DEFINITELY the place you want to be this weekend!

Cheers!

P.S. – if you want a sneak peek at our new menu check click HERE

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Do you start the dance floor?

March 7, 2011 By admin 1 Comment

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PLZ READ: Flood Victims Benefit

January 19, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

We interrupt your regular reading with last weeks devastation….

… FLASH FLOODING – TAKE COVER!

…. FLOODS of “BIBLICAL PROPORTIONS” will  hit Brisbane CBD

……8 people have sadly been reported deceased, while 72 are missing.

—– A KING TIDE is forecasted, the equivalent will be an inland tsunami!

……. More than 26,000 homes were flooded in Brisbane – 11,900 of them completely inundated – leaving owners homeless for weeks or possibly months!

—— It is unknown how many people remain stranded on their roofs as the torrent heads east, while residents in low-lying areas of the Brisbane Valley are being urged to leave as a severe storm looms over the region.

………. Premier Anna Bligh says the major centres of concern today are Toowoomba, Murphys Creek, Helidon, Grantham,Gatton, Glenore Grove and other places downstream.

If you were one of the many thousands of Aussies that were glued to the tube and had been following the news these are the headlines that were echoing in everyones thoughts and minds last week…

Our great nation watched paralyzed in terror as the good people from Toowoomba, Brisbane, and numerous other surrounding areas had fallen wrath to mother natures furry. 10 minutes, was the only notice that most residents were initially given before the flood waters invaded their communities, destroyed their properties, tossed around their cars, and threatened their lives as the levels grew deeper and deeper.

Reports of a teenaged boy giving up his life to save his brother began to circulate, video of a man waving frantically from his roof surfaced, and with no special editing effects like you’d see in the movie 2012,  a house was literally ripped from it’s stilts and rapidly carried off downstream as if it was a determined entrant practicing for the Hobart Races!

Grim faced and disbelieving, the reporters continued on informing the public of road closures, distress centers and finally that the river would not only match the great flood of the 70′s but beat it despite mans eager efforts to contain mother nature and avoid future disasters.

A week later thousands are still left without homes, some missing family members, and others aimlessly wandering shelters wondering how they will ever piece back their lives together, and when will they feel it’s “normal” again?

As many communities on the Gold Coast are grateful for the sunshine this week, our thoughts and prayers are reaching out to the victims of the Queensland Flood.

Tomorrow Broadbeach will be hosting: (this THURSDAY NIGHT JAN. 20th) a night to support the Premier’s Flood Appeal.

Together Jetz PR & Events and Dash Events GC will be organizing a benefit for the flood victims here at 1two3 Restaurant & Lounge in the heart of Broady.

Tickets will be $20 THE FULL AMOUNT will go to the Premier’s Flood Appeal.

* You will receive a welcome drink (donated by Taltarni Wines and Coopers Beers) + 2hrs of Canapes & FREE LIVE entertainment donated by BT “BENSON” 6:30 – 8:30p your host will be  the ever lovely EMMA LANCASTER.

Bar Menu will be at half price for the rest of the evening, and many local businesses have provided amazing prizes to be raffled off tix will be $10 each.

There is a limit of 120 tickets for this venue so please act fast as this will be one event you won’t want to miss!

You can RSVP to: zoe@jetzpr.com  OR ashe@dasheventsgc.com.au

Help us, Help take a stand for QUEENSLAND!

* Our deepest condolences to all those victims in Brazil, Sri Lanka as well as Haiti and New Orleans who are still continuously striving to repair the damages caused by the first rounds of flooding.

When we are threatened, together we stand united.

“God bless America. God save the Queen. God defend New Zealand and thank Christ for Australia.” – Russell Crowe

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Reflections of 2010

January 7, 2011 By admin Leave a Comment

It’s taken me a longer time then usual to write the “Reflections” blog, I’ve been trying to suss out a resolution, and there’s always heaps of things that people suggest, but to be honest, I don’t have any.

To have a resolution is sort of like having a regret, like “unfinished business” or getting over a fear of some sort, or lack of motivation. I don’t have that – anymore.

I used to resolve to get healthier, which always meant working out heaps more, but then I’d get bored, and that resolution would be out the window by February. I’ve come to the conclusion that getting healthy doesn’t necessarily apply to only working out and eating properly. Being a “healthy” individual, means your mindful of what you put into your body and what you want to get out of it.

Instead of working hard and rewarding yourself with junk, think of your body as something you cherish i.e. – like a car you’ve always wanted, or that diamond ring on your finger, or your fav piece of electronic equipment…. now think of smothering that in junkfood. Sort of a ridiculous visual hey? Instead reward yourself with a new fun outfit, or something that you’ve worked hard for. i.e. – a vacation, a day trip, or a massage or something that will allow your body to feel pampered and proud.

Another resolution I often hear is people want to stop working so hard and take more time to enjoy life. That’s paramount. There are a LOT of unhappy folks out there. I know everyone thinks it’s because they don’t have time to enjoy their lives or do the things they want to do, because ultimately they’re afraid of breaking their routine. Let’s face it, if you REALLY want something, you’ll find time. I work on a 60-70hr work week on most occasions and I still schedule in the things I ABSOLUTELY want to do. If you have “the will” you’ll find the way.

Loose the fear, and you’ll loose the depression. Your mind is telling you that it needs to grow, it’s bored. When you’re a young adult you’re in a constant state of growth and learning. So very rarely does your mind go stagnant. I solemnly promise, if you take 1 day a week to try something new out, and break out of your “usual” routine you’ll feel like you’re enjoying yourself more. Take one day to yourself, and for a couple hours just do something you’ve always wanted to do or try, but either never had time, or no one would go with you, or you felt stupid asking someone to go with you. Don’t be shy to try something alone either. If it’s something you enjoy, you’ll meet other like-minded people and before you know it you won’t be alone! Just get out there.

If you still need a resolution – resolve to stay positive!
There’s an amazing story about a woman diagnosed with terminal cancer, and she’s been the inspiration
for an entire town to “Pay if Forward”. Even though she’s not sure how much time she has left, she’s making the most of everyday, and inspiring others to live their best lives while they can. To read more click on: Dying Woman Inspires Others

I know it’s tough to stay positive ALL the time, but if you find yourself in that downward spiral, ask yourself why you think these things are happening? I can almost guarantee that every time a copious amount of unplanned events transpired I had to figure out what the route of the problem was and why I was being pushed in another direction. Sometimes when you put a request “out there” for a change or something different in life, it won’t necessarily deliver what “exactly” you’re asking for, however it will certainly give you opportunities to meet the right people that can assist you in your request. Try it out. Seriously just for fun… I promise it’ll be creepily spot on, and you’ll start to question more and more. Finding the answers is the fun part. :)

Case in Point: if that dying woman wishes to live, but her body can’t physically handle it, she’ll live on in the minds of others by inspiring a town to “Pay it Forward”.

One of my favorite quotes goes like this:
” Do what makes you happy.
Be with who makes you smile.
Laugh as much as you breathe.
Love as long as you live. ”

I know there are many different situations that seem impossible to get out of, but you can. You just have to have the love, courage and conviction that if it’s what you really want, you can’t let anything stand in your way.

Happy 2011, hope to see you at 1two3 in Broady, or if not drop us a line on Twitter @1wo3dining or FACEBOOK Justine OneTwoThree Bar

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I’m not Fat. I’m PHAT.

December 27, 2010 By admin 5 Comments

I want to preface this blog by saying I was encouraged to write this to speak out against the unfortunate incident that occurred last night. I’m not looking for compliments, or sympathy… I just want others to know to stand up to their bully and break the vicious circle.

I’ve been in the hospitality/entertainment industry since 1995, I’ve seen it all, I’ve worked it all, and for the most part I’ve had a blast, with minor pitfalls along the way…

My claim to fame and subsequently shame, has been my voluptuous frame and my infectious charisma! People either love it, or they loathe it.

Last night, I was having a fantastic time at work, the vibe was great, the music was kickin’ and it was great to be back after the Chrissy holidaze and partying with “the Sunday crew”.

I, unfortunately have a bad habit that I’ve been trying to kick like a toxic ex, but when I’m stressed – I always go back. So I ducked out for a quick ciggie break, and since it was pissin’ buckets I opted to go on the other side of our neighbor bar to stay out of the rain rather then the usual social spot outside of 7 Eleven.

Alone, I was ready to get my fix on before the nic fit kicked in, and just as I lit up -a drunken bloke stumbled out the side of the bar. He almost stumbled right into me, but stopped as abruptly as an inebriated caveman and 1000 mile starred at me, I wasn’t able to get the twats name but the convo started like this:

Twat: Oh sorry. Do you work around here?

Me: Yep, next door at 1two3

Twat: What like behind the scenes?

Me: Nope I bartend.

Twat: (shakes head) That’s a bit ridiculous, you must not get many customers then.

Me: Why’s that?

Twat: Because you’re fat. Look at you, you’re a disgusting, fat, sweaty pig. You’re too fat and ugly to bartend in the Gold Coast don’t you think? Just look at how ugly your face is!

Me: (Mentally planning how to break a limb) *blink blink* Exxxxcuse me?

Twat: You heard me, why don’t you exercise or try eating healthy instead of Macca’s.

Me: Well those are a lot of assumptions for someone who doesn’t even know my name. You can stop talking now. Thanks. ( I walk to the opposite corner and turn my back to him)

Twat: LOOK at you, you have a wide, gross, fat ass too – it’s so gross I can see it’s lumpy from here!

Me: (rushing over venomously) Listen to me very closely… you. stupid. little. boy. You have no clue about me, my physical state or my regimes. How do you know I don’t have cancer? How do you know I didn’t just have a baby? Or what if I have another pre-existing medical condition? You have no idea how old I am either, so before you throw stones, look in the mirror and see who’s really ugly! Because everyday – I look in the mirror – I know exactly who I am, and I don’t need you to tell me what you “think” you see. (storm off)

Twat: (calling after me) You’re just a fat, ugly, disgusting sweaty pig! Go back to the farm piggy!

Me: (whipping around) Well, it’s not my fault your dicks’ so small you need tweezers to masturbate, maybe if you had at least some gurth you wouldn’t hate your life so much… oh and at least I CAN loose weight – if I wanted to.

Twat: – you’re sooooooooo disgusting… yep just walk away you’re asses jiggling is going to cause an earth quake!!!

(I know you’re probably thinking I had an encounter with Mel Gibson, but alas it was not).

Knowing fully that there’s no point in arguing with a belligerent-protein-powdered-crank-a-wank-drunken-re-tard, I decided to “get even” rather then resort to physical violence. (Damn Kung Fu code of ethics)

So I marched into the bar next door and explained to the bartender there that they should cut off the twat, because if he’s going to say I’m too fat and disgustingly ugly to bartend in Broady, he should at least be able to do it without slurring. Being the good neighbors that the bar next door is, they came in 30mins later and informed me that this guy has been a problem for them the past 6months and they “took care of him” and he was asked to leave. Ha! Take that!

Unfortunately anyone who’s EVER been put down because of ANY physical attribute be it their weight, fat or thin, or having a big nose, or looking old, or flat chested or overly chested, Cankles, Prawn Heads… etc. The aftermath is usually worse. Not only is it terrible to be humiliated in public, its the ghost echo of the dagger words that rip you apart in the end.

I have to admit I ducked out because I knocked off early and was on the precipice of a anger attack. Bloody hell, I was NOT going to let this ruin my night. It did. Bloody hell I was not going to loose sleep over his negativity and hate. But I did. I posted a heated warning on my Facebook last night because I was determined to speak out for everyone who’s ever wanted to and just couldn’t. And I did.

Since the tender impressionable age of 6, I’ve been constantly reminded of my weight or my looks. My family, my bestfriends, people I went to school with, people I’ve performed with, have ALL commented at one time or another on my weight or my face.

- “Don’t worry – You’ll be prettier when you’re older.”

- “You look great now, you used to be such a big cuddly bear!”

- ” You have a really pretty face, but… ”

- “Maybe if she stopped wearing so much makeup, and lost some weight she could get a boyfriend”.

- “You know Stace would be an absolute knockout if she lost 20lbs”.

-”You’re too fat to play the lead, too skinny to be the bestfriend and you have too much of a pretty face to be the best friend, come back when you get down to a size 7″.

- “You aren’t fat enough to tell fat jokes, even if the guy(s) you were dating “really” did say: he likes fat chicks because they’re better in bed/he wants to squish your jelly/he’ll dump you if you’re thighs get any bigger/he wanted to ride your meaty snail.”

- “You know maybe you should take the stairs at work instead of the elevator, it could really do you some good”.

- “You’re so fat now I can’t even get my arms around you to hug you, I don’t want to touch you let alone look at you.”

-”Stace can you put this on for me? I want to stretch this out a bit before I wear it”.

- “Look mate, she’s big as!”

You get the point. Twat wasn’t the first to ever say anything to me and he won’t be the last either. If those closest to me couldn’t destroy any shred of self confidence I have, Twat won’t be able to either! Funny thing, I do work out – quite a bit actually, and I rarely eat processed foods, dairy, or red meat because I do have medical issues. Regardless…

What’s my secret weapon against the negative voices?

Well,  I used to work for a catering company 4 yrs ago, I was put on head bar at a High Profile Famous Designer Fashion show, can’t say which one but the name starts with “C”.

A very fragile looking woman (in her late 50′s I’d guess) with a regal posh accent, drapped in a crisp, classic, black cocktail dress with over-sized antique looking pearls, accompanied by shorter over tanned man with brown puffy hair, in a sleek suit kept frequenting my bar.

They pretentiously purred that my dirty gin martini’s were the only palpable ones being served . The “dragon lady” as I dubbed her, had been terrorizing everyone elses’ bar stations and I found it amusing that I escaped the wrath, not really overly grateful for my vermouth anti- venom. So just to see what she’d do, I was bored and curious so instead of keeping the bottles under the bar like they requested I put them on display. Martini in hand, she swiftly floated over, as though she had bar- bottle- radar, with her brown- haired , suited companion in tow she simply said this:

“My dear, much like you were personally selected to be on this bar, I’ve also selected to not have the bottles on display. I want everything to be pre-tty. Do you understand?” She then turned to her friend and said “Don’t you think she has the most unique jaw line and face structure”. He turned to me, warmly smiled and said “Yes she does doesn’t she, (pause) she does have absolutely stunning features, what’s your name? (Stacey) Thank-you Stacey.” He smoothly took my hand, winked, and slipped me a tip on the sly, unbeknownst to dragonella.

It wasn’t till months later I was watching The Devil Wears Prada in the theatre, and I saw the man from the fashion show on the screen! I eagerly waited while the credits scrolled dying to know who this mystery man was! Again I can’t name names, but the man is a legendary Italian designer! For more years then I’ve been alive, this man has been surrounded by the most gorgeous, elite women all over the world….

He told me I was stunning.

While this blog is meatier then the others (pun intended) I get that 10 people can compliment you endlessly but it takes 1 shlub to say: you’re too fat, you’re too skinny, you’re too flat, you’re thighs are enormous, you have a massively large nose, you look like a man, you look old for your age – and that’s what’ll stick. I get it, because I’ve lived it. But I’m telling you – stop doing that to yourself. Don’t carry the baggage that someone else decides to dump on you. It’s NOT worth it. YOU are worth more then that.

After reading my story, I hope you know that it really does ONLY take 1 voice to make a difference.

You’re own.

Famous designers are a huge compliment, but at the end of the day, you’re the one who’s going to have to keep looking in the mirror for the rest of your life.

Speak out, and expect respect. If you earned it. You deserve it.

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Christmas Party Capers

December 20, 2010 By admin 1 Comment

Ahhhh where to begin… ?

Tomorrow will be the night of our  company Christmas party, as I struggle to ready myself for what I can only imagine will be a drunken night of shenanigans, confessions, and unfortunate spills. I’m excited to compare it, come Wednesday to the ghosts of  ”Christmas Parties Past… ”

As a single girl in my mid 20′s, I guiltily confess I was “that girl” at Christmas parties.

My first corporate Christmas Party in 2004 I was broke as, so I took a few liberties with the FREE red wine. When I say a “few” I mean more like …. a plethora. I was so blind on the goon that I woke up in a hazy stumble thinking I had cut myself.

Not quite sure if it was a blessing in disguise, but turns out the red stains were from my good friend at the time Mr. Merlot.

I later found out as I was high fived in the office, that I was responsible for stealing a bottle of wine, and with just as much class, chugged from it, and hid it in my purse. That was only after I had been spilling wine all over everyone else, doing my best Bootylicious Beyonce impressions for our head directors.

To make the evening more eventful I was also photographed with over sized sunglasses, a blowup guitar, and a dinner napkin wrapped around my “air” microphone, contorting my lips, singing with passion to “Dude looks like a lady”.

I have no idea how/when that pic was taken, or how I even got home. But what I do know is that I became part of the office gossip post Christmas Party. My ONLY saving grace was that one of the seniors in the office got kicked out, pissed in the parking lot and while everyone was having a ciggie performed his version Puppetry of the Penis by showing them he had mastered “the helicopter”. Awesome.

In case any of you have missed out on the Holiday festivites, please let me share with you the stages of a typical soiree…

Stage 1 – buying the rounds… if you don’t… you’re the Scrooged Coworker… if everyone knows your broke as then it’s kinda cool, they accept you like a person with a broken arm, but if you have the money… then you’re just gonna get ribbed mate.

Stage 2 – the dancing begins… shy and modest at first…. but you’re feeling pretty good… nothing’s popped out, no one has fallen, and no one has said anything inappropriate or retarded.

Stage 3 – you exit dance floor for more rounds… you’ve danced & gotten thirsty so now you must replentish your Bundy & Rum, and get this party REALLY started… but really you’re just losing your buzz, and nobody likes a sober slub at these things… they just bring everyone down with their “my-arse-is-so-tight-I-can-make-diamonds-in-my-backside” attitude…

Stage 4 – the smoking… this is when everyone is pretty buzzed and the smokers are hoovering it back like collecting sand in the carpet, and the “none smokers” suddenly stop bitching about the smokers and join the dark side and beg/plead/steal for a ciggie… ha. The ciggie company that invents the “Social Smoker” pack would be loaded.

Stage 5 – the rounds of tequila…. b/c of course it’s THAT time! AND clearly Tequila tastes better 10 drinks in, cos by then it doesn’t burn the way it would when you’re sober, and after 10 drinks, doing 4 shots of Tequila with the kitchen boys is a superb idea! Throwing caution to the wind, you swallow it down, and refuse to take “the training wheels” cos you’re “manning up” whereas some people while sober might not think that being good friends with Jose after downing half a bottle of Absolute, was an absolute great idea… you vomit a little in your mouth, look around, swallow it back, chase it with some Bundy – no ones sussed you out for being a pansy, so you go back to the dance floor!

Stage 6 – the SEXY dancing… or the “forbeeeeden dance”… this is when you see the boss, owner, senior staff start doing that 80′s thrust that was massive popular to the song “stroke it”, the guys/girls in their 20′s look like they’re dirty dancing and should probably use protection, and it becomes a massive sweat fest or inappropriate party of pelvic movements.

SO ya, why is it, that after a half a bottle of Jose, and a half a bottle of Absolute, – the chair dancing, ass smacking, slow whind, scrub the ground, those dance moves come out? WHY- because tequila is LOOSE JUICE! Don’t fool yourselves, you know tis the season and you’ve been looking forward to gettin’ on the piss all year long.

AND WHY, what part of the brain Actually deems that your dancing sexy… or that you’re “dancing” at all? Rather then trying not to fall over while someone else sways around with you….

Eyes bloodshot and half open, hair wet & dishevled, sweat all over… and yet we still manage to think we are doing a better job then the girls that actually get paid to dance like that! Right??

The Classic move… sticking your arse in some guys middle, like you’d make Carmen Electra proud….

Stage 7 – the amourous phaze…. this is the “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, YOU’RE SO AWESOME”… kiss kiss, hug hug, to everyone… You at that moment, are convinced that everyone you work with should know how much you love and appreciate them, and with the motorskills of a caveman you launch your arm over their shoulders and tell them that they are amazing, beautiful, funny… etc. Essentially they are the bestest person in the world and they look like they need to be smothered in the luv that is blind drunkeness…

Stage 8 – this is the fork in the road…. times a tickin…

A) the itch sets in… and then you think to yourself…. do I want to root anyone here? Who is sexy? Who needs some of this sexy? Who hasn’t already rooted half the staff here? Who has a car? Who lives close? Do I have taxi fare? Should we just go to the beach?

Or…

B) the rumble sets in…. Jose does not want to be roomates with Absolute, and one of them is moving out – by any means necessary and here is your 2 minutes notice….

Stage 9 – “B” took action, so you scramble to grab all your stuff avoid the people you just “loved” two minutes ago like the plague, designate 1 person as your “oh she left” person, and bolt for a taxi….hail him down flailing like you’re lost in the ocean and a helicopter is flying over you, and then roll down the window and breathe deep for the next 10 mins and pray to the “Spirits” that you won’t toss your cookies in the cab… (it already stinks, why add to it)

Stage 10 – Pay cab. Run to house. Drop stuff on spot. Run to bathroom. Take care of business, while trying not to wake roomate. Brush teeth. Gargle. Wash face. Extra Splashing of cold water. Try to fall asleep as the room starts to spin. Put foot on ground. Drop Anchor. Pass out.

Stage 11 – Wake up. Feel like ass. Remember night – or try to. Rush to check your iPhone, Camera, and facebook for any inappropriate photo’s that family members shouldn’t see… Shower off the demons. Plan to deny everything and claim to be too drunk to remember anything…. pleading the “black out” of the drink is always a good one….

So I think that pretty much covers it, so if you’ve missed out, I hope my step by step guide will aid in assisting you next time around… oh but word of caution if you get to Step 8 and fall into the Category A then please disregard Steps 9-11. Cause…. well…. um…. let’s just say….. *looks around*…. *Stares @ Floor*…. you’re on your own.

With that I say a Merry Christmas to all, and don’t forget to wear clean undies.

Happy Merries to you all!

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Interview with Pubbaz

December 13, 2010 By admin Leave a Comment

Since the departure of our dearest Fallon leaving us, we had to obviously promote a new bar manager, and whom else could we choose but her protege Jono Minihan. While it would be an understatement to say that he was a smidge shyer then Falf we thought we’d get catch up with him for a Q & A sesh and see what he’s got in store for 1two3!

1. Q: Jono are you scared or excited to take Fallons’ place as new bar manager of 1two3?

A: Both. Filling Fallons shoes is a enormous task, but I was honored to be chosen, and I’m looking forward to the responsibility. It’s a different sort of job, since we’re privately owned and operated you really care about the bottom line and learn the business side of operating a bar.

(Inside voice: I just hope they don’t make me dance on the bar and hit all those lovely notes that Fallon used to hit when she sang Summer of 69′)

2. Q: What’s the part about being a bartender you love the most?

A: The social aspect is great, your regulars become your friends, and soon it just turns into a great night out with people you know and like to hang around. 1two3 is unique in Broady its small enough to realize that after a year everyone is just like family.

3. Q: What are some of the duties of a bar manager?

A: Main duties include: cash-ups, training new staff, managers meetings, ordering stock, meeting with liquor reps, but the fun stuff is: going to bartending conferences, organizing competitions, sampling new products, and finding those hidden gems to promote at 1two3 that differentiates us from the other bigger bars in Broadbeach. Expect Cidars to be a huge hit this summer!

4. Q: How long have you been bartending for, and where have you bartended?

A: I’m only 21, so I’ve been bartending for a total of 3 yrs in 2 different places. I’m originally from England, so I worked/lived in a Belgium Beer House, we had over 200 beers and I had to take a 400 question test just to work there! But the hardest part about that job was tapping the old ale kegs! Just put it this way… you tap it too hard and it’ll explode all over your face, don’t tap it enough and the rubber just gets stuck lol.  The second was here at 1two3 in Australia.

5. Q: What’s something most people don’t know about you?

A: When I lived back in England my nickname was Mr. Pubbington whenever my mates couldn’t find me I’d always be at the pub, later Mr. Pubbington got shorted to Pubbaz, and sometimes I question if some of my mates even remember my name is Jonno? lol.

6. Q: If someone buys the bartender a shot, what shot should they get?

A: The unspoken rule of Broady is Tequila. You can’t refuse, and you can’t have training wheels!
(no lime or salt) but of course only after our shift, as it’s illegal in QLD to drink behind the bar.

7. Q: As a new bar manager, many establishments discourage their staff from drinking off shift at their place of employment, what are your thoughts on that?

A: I understand why, and I actually think it’s more beneficial to the establishment if the staff does come off shift. It just promotes a sense of community, and sets the example that if our staff is still coming here when they aren’t working then it must be a great place to be. Like I mentioned before, it’s like a family here.

(Inside voice: it’s far more entertaining when staff come to get on the piss, then it gives us fodder to take the piss outta them later. Never dull and that’s how we love it!)

8. Q: What day would be the best day to come down for a visit?

A: THURSDAYS! Benson kicks up the entertainment with his Jackson 5 beats, our bar menu is 1/2 price so you save yourself a bit of coin, and its a laid back cruisey night so service is faster and we have time to do the “extra” stuff like flaring and such.

9. Q: What “new things” can we expect to see in the near future?

A: Heaps more new liqueurs – we have some delish new chocolate, white chocolate and nugget liqueur now. We’ll also be having a new cocktail list in the new year designed by our new staff (Remi, Bonny, Big Greg, and Stacey P & Stacey-Lee as a sub) and a cocktail specialist from Brissy.

10: Q: What have you learnt/what advice would you give to any other young bartenders just starting out?

A: Try and be as light-hearted as possible, bartending can be a hard job, but try not to take ANYTHING personally. If you don’t bartending can be one of the greatest jobs you’ll have, and you can do it wherever you are in the world! Just make sure you move around and don’t get stuck at one place too long, or else you’ll never be able to grow in the industry.

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