Another beautiful sunny day in the Gold Coast and it’s Jazz & Food Fest weekend… which means – MORE tourists! Normally the Westies are the most entertaining but I have to say some of the other tourists we’ve had from Asia, U.S.A., and Germany take the cake for asking stupid fudgin’ questions. Sorry to sugar coat it, but at least we have more tolerance then Chopper Read!
Normally I’d laugh it off, and say something like “Ah mate whomever told you that is just takin’ the piss”, but today, I dunno what it is, I felt like being the “piss taker”. I am takin the piss!
So here’s a list of some of my all time favorite questions tourist have asked and here’s the answers I WISH I coulda said:
1. At breakfast time, I approached a couple from Indiana U.S.A. and there were quite a few tables around them, so I asked them if I could start them off with anything to drink and handed them some menu’s. Then they looked around and asked “So do you serve coffee here? Can I have 2 sugars and some cream in it. Like a regular?” I then asked them which coffee they wanted, and they said just regular coffee? “Sooo…. what kind was that mate?” Then they spoke slower like I didn’t understand english and they were like “r-e-g-u-l-a-r”. I wanted to tell them they should check out Robert Timms, but instead just gave em a Flat White.
2. I had a group of backpackers from Germany, and Sweden. Gorgeous looking boys but dumb as nails. Guess you can’t be blessed with both unless you were fat as a kid. But anywho, they took out a map and they asked if they could walk to Perth from Sydney? I wanted to look into their beautiful blue eyes and be like “no wukkin furries mate 3 or 4 days should do it”. But I told them they might want to consider flying, probably the only time they’d get to ride a “Virgin”. (Virgin Blue) You know how backpackers get after slappin’ some Goon.
3. A group of girls from Texas were down for a convention, and apparently some of our boys told them all about “Drop Bears” the night before. So after breaky they were trying to sort out a hike to Mt. Tambourine and asked “what parts of Australia are Drop bears indigenous to?” I just shook my head and told them the same parts as the Tooth Fairy, The Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus. – I still to this day, don’t think they got it.
4. A couple from Canada sat down on the patio part for dinner a few nights ago, they came in singlets and boardies, and wanted to know if we could turn on the heaters? I asked them if they wanted to sit inside they might be warmer? They insisted they wanted to stay outside. Fine. Then they said “I had no idea it was so cold here, I thought it was 40 C all year round eh?” First off, if you’re traveling to a new country wouldn’t you do some research? So I smiled “politely” of course, and wanted to say ” nah mate you really must be disappointed hey, Oi are you homeless when your igloo melts in the summer?”
5. The question I get asked most by ALL tourists though is do you see Kangaroo’s, Koala’s or Dingo’s in the street? To which I almost always respond, “well depends, if you’re on a road trip you might see them on the “side of the road,” but you definitely won’t want to take pictures then.”
To whomever said there are no such things as “stupid questions”, you must be daft mate.
Seriously.
Spill It